Dave Farber
2018-12-08 23:11:50 UTC
Date: December 9, 2018 at 2:10:22 AM GMT+9
Subject: [Dewayne-Net] Four Days Trapped at Sea With Crypto's Nouveau Riche
Four Days Trapped at Sea With Cryptoâs Nouveau Riche
By Laurie Penny
Dec 5 2018
<https://breakermag.com/trapped-at-sea-with-cryptos-nouveau-riche/>
Draw me your map of utopia and Iâll tell you your tragic flaw. In 10 years of political reporting Iâve met a lot of intense, oddly dressed people with very specific ideas about what the perfect world would look like, some of them in elected officeâbut none quite so strange as the ideological soup of starry-eyed techno-utopians and sketchy-ass crypto-grifters on the 2018 CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise.
It happened like this.
Two months ago, an editor from BREAKER called and asked if I wanted to go on a four-day Mediterranean cruise with hundreds of crypto-crazed investors and evangelists. Weâll cover the travel, he said. Write something long about whatever you find, he said. It was 2 a.m. and I was over-caffeinated. I remember explaining that I know almost nothing about either cruises or blockchain, in the way that Sir Ian McKellen, in the criminally underrated series Extras, explains that he is not actuallya wizard. Five days later I was at the port of Barcelona, boarding a ship. By which point it was way too late to wonder for the umpteenth time about my life choices.
I knew about bitcoin only as an investment vehicle favored by several essentially sweet nerds close to my heartâand I knew, too, that cryptocurrencies are the pet untraceable funding model of the far-right. I was told there would be an overall âBurning Man themeâ to the adventure, guaranteed by the presence of Brock Pierce, the cryptocurrency mogul, former child actor, and one-man art installation about peer pressure. (More about him later.) I was anticipating evenings spent listening to crypto-hippies describe the angel-faced space elves they met when they took DMT. I was expecting to fetch water and painkillers for half-conscious corporate executives with dust in their perfect hair and no idea how to get home. I was expecting to get a bit carried away and end up shouting about the government and chalking poetry all over the walls. I was expecting to hear very rich men talk without blinking about tax planning and sacred geometry. I was expecting corporate-branded swimwear. I was expecting to meet smug Californian polyamorists, about whom smug European polyamorists like me are relentlessly judgy. Reader, all of these things transpired, but by the time they did they were a blessed relief.
Letâs step back a moment. For those of you still idling by the side of the cryptocurrency bandwagon, hereâs a brief primer, based on a weekâs frantic pre-trip cramming. Blockchain is the technology behind cryptocurrencies, which are peer-to-peer electronic cash systems unregulated by any central authority. The system bitcoin, pioneered by an anonymous genius (or geniuses) going by the handle âSatoshi Nakamotoâ in 2008, was the first digital currency. Those who bought bitcoin at the start are now on-paper squidzillionaires. Other, newer currencies like Ethereum, Ripple, and Bitcoin Cash, are emergingâand there are obvious reasons to get behind the idea of decentralizing the financial system. Beyond money, blockchain has lots of exciting potential applications with very few actual users. For instance, in October, artist Kelly Donnelly released the feminist anthem âI Am Sheâ using Ethereum, making it, in her words, the âfirst unblockable music video ever released ⊠meaning women living in censored regions like Iran, Saudi Arabia, China, and Turkey have been able to watch the video.â Sounds good to me.
In the short term, though, thatâs not what most big players care aboutâand the major social change blockchain has brought about so far is that a small number of people have become very rich indeed. As blockchain skeptic David Gerard writes, âthe cryptocurrency field is replete with scams and scammers. The technology is used as an excuse to make outlandish near-magical claims. When phrases like âa whole new form of moneyâ or âthe old rules donât apply any moreâ start going around, people get gullible and the ethically-challenged get creative.â
CoinsBank, the company organizing the cruise, has left little welcome gift boxes in each of the rooms. They contain: painkillers, Alka-Seltzer, several condoms, the world's flimsiest pregnancy test, and a half-bottle of JÀgermeister.
A huge bitcoin price crash occurs a few hours before we set sail. As I board, I am surprised to find that nobody seems to be particularly worried. CoinsBank, the company organizing the cruise, has left little welcome gift boxes in each of the rooms. They contain painkillers, Alka-Seltzer, several condoms, the worldâs flimsiest pregnancy test, and a half-bottle of JÀgermeister. Itâs the kind of thing youâd leave at the bottom of the chimney for Skeezy Uncle Santa, hoping heâll stuff a new sex doll under your tree.
The women on this boat are polished and perfect; the men, by contrast, seem strangely curedânot like medicine, but like meat. They are almost all white, between the ages of 30 and 50, and are trying very hard to have the good time they paid thousands for, while remaining professional in a scene where many thought leaders have murky pasts, a tendency to talk like YouTube conspiracy preachers, and/or the habit of appearing in magazines naked and covered in strawberries. That last is 73-year-old John McAfee, who got rich with the anti-virus software McAfee Security before jumping into cryptocurrencies. He is the man most of the acolytes here are keenest to get their picture taken with and is constantly surrounded by private security who do their best to aesthetically out-thug every Armani-suited Russian skinhead on deck. Occasionally he commandeers the grand piano in the guest lounge, and the young live-streamers clamor for the best shot. John McAfee has never been convicted of rape and murder, butâcruciallyânot in the same way that you or I have never been convicted of rape or murder. I do not interview John McAfee. He interests me less than he scares the shit out of me, though his entourage seems relaxed. Theyâre already living in the crypto-utopia behind his strange pale-blue eyes.
[snip]
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-------------------------------------------Subject: [Dewayne-Net] Four Days Trapped at Sea With Crypto's Nouveau Riche
Four Days Trapped at Sea With Cryptoâs Nouveau Riche
By Laurie Penny
Dec 5 2018
<https://breakermag.com/trapped-at-sea-with-cryptos-nouveau-riche/>
Draw me your map of utopia and Iâll tell you your tragic flaw. In 10 years of political reporting Iâve met a lot of intense, oddly dressed people with very specific ideas about what the perfect world would look like, some of them in elected officeâbut none quite so strange as the ideological soup of starry-eyed techno-utopians and sketchy-ass crypto-grifters on the 2018 CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise.
It happened like this.
Two months ago, an editor from BREAKER called and asked if I wanted to go on a four-day Mediterranean cruise with hundreds of crypto-crazed investors and evangelists. Weâll cover the travel, he said. Write something long about whatever you find, he said. It was 2 a.m. and I was over-caffeinated. I remember explaining that I know almost nothing about either cruises or blockchain, in the way that Sir Ian McKellen, in the criminally underrated series Extras, explains that he is not actuallya wizard. Five days later I was at the port of Barcelona, boarding a ship. By which point it was way too late to wonder for the umpteenth time about my life choices.
I knew about bitcoin only as an investment vehicle favored by several essentially sweet nerds close to my heartâand I knew, too, that cryptocurrencies are the pet untraceable funding model of the far-right. I was told there would be an overall âBurning Man themeâ to the adventure, guaranteed by the presence of Brock Pierce, the cryptocurrency mogul, former child actor, and one-man art installation about peer pressure. (More about him later.) I was anticipating evenings spent listening to crypto-hippies describe the angel-faced space elves they met when they took DMT. I was expecting to fetch water and painkillers for half-conscious corporate executives with dust in their perfect hair and no idea how to get home. I was expecting to get a bit carried away and end up shouting about the government and chalking poetry all over the walls. I was expecting to hear very rich men talk without blinking about tax planning and sacred geometry. I was expecting corporate-branded swimwear. I was expecting to meet smug Californian polyamorists, about whom smug European polyamorists like me are relentlessly judgy. Reader, all of these things transpired, but by the time they did they were a blessed relief.
Letâs step back a moment. For those of you still idling by the side of the cryptocurrency bandwagon, hereâs a brief primer, based on a weekâs frantic pre-trip cramming. Blockchain is the technology behind cryptocurrencies, which are peer-to-peer electronic cash systems unregulated by any central authority. The system bitcoin, pioneered by an anonymous genius (or geniuses) going by the handle âSatoshi Nakamotoâ in 2008, was the first digital currency. Those who bought bitcoin at the start are now on-paper squidzillionaires. Other, newer currencies like Ethereum, Ripple, and Bitcoin Cash, are emergingâand there are obvious reasons to get behind the idea of decentralizing the financial system. Beyond money, blockchain has lots of exciting potential applications with very few actual users. For instance, in October, artist Kelly Donnelly released the feminist anthem âI Am Sheâ using Ethereum, making it, in her words, the âfirst unblockable music video ever released ⊠meaning women living in censored regions like Iran, Saudi Arabia, China, and Turkey have been able to watch the video.â Sounds good to me.
In the short term, though, thatâs not what most big players care aboutâand the major social change blockchain has brought about so far is that a small number of people have become very rich indeed. As blockchain skeptic David Gerard writes, âthe cryptocurrency field is replete with scams and scammers. The technology is used as an excuse to make outlandish near-magical claims. When phrases like âa whole new form of moneyâ or âthe old rules donât apply any moreâ start going around, people get gullible and the ethically-challenged get creative.â
CoinsBank, the company organizing the cruise, has left little welcome gift boxes in each of the rooms. They contain: painkillers, Alka-Seltzer, several condoms, the world's flimsiest pregnancy test, and a half-bottle of JÀgermeister.
A huge bitcoin price crash occurs a few hours before we set sail. As I board, I am surprised to find that nobody seems to be particularly worried. CoinsBank, the company organizing the cruise, has left little welcome gift boxes in each of the rooms. They contain painkillers, Alka-Seltzer, several condoms, the worldâs flimsiest pregnancy test, and a half-bottle of JÀgermeister. Itâs the kind of thing youâd leave at the bottom of the chimney for Skeezy Uncle Santa, hoping heâll stuff a new sex doll under your tree.
The women on this boat are polished and perfect; the men, by contrast, seem strangely curedânot like medicine, but like meat. They are almost all white, between the ages of 30 and 50, and are trying very hard to have the good time they paid thousands for, while remaining professional in a scene where many thought leaders have murky pasts, a tendency to talk like YouTube conspiracy preachers, and/or the habit of appearing in magazines naked and covered in strawberries. That last is 73-year-old John McAfee, who got rich with the anti-virus software McAfee Security before jumping into cryptocurrencies. He is the man most of the acolytes here are keenest to get their picture taken with and is constantly surrounded by private security who do their best to aesthetically out-thug every Armani-suited Russian skinhead on deck. Occasionally he commandeers the grand piano in the guest lounge, and the young live-streamers clamor for the best shot. John McAfee has never been convicted of rape and murder, butâcruciallyânot in the same way that you or I have never been convicted of rape or murder. I do not interview John McAfee. He interests me less than he scares the shit out of me, though his entourage seems relaxed. Theyâre already living in the crypto-utopia behind his strange pale-blue eyes.
[snip]
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